Three More “Sleeps”…

In Uncategorized on August 1, 2009 at 9:18 pm

So, try though I might NOT to do a mental countdown to “coming home”, I am.  Only three more sleeps till I can rest unmolested again.

Or rather, unmolested by nurses throwing on the lights at 6am to take my blood saying, “Good Morning, How did you sleep?!”  Eyes squeezed tightly shut, throwing my arm out from under the covers for them I customarily reply, “I’m not *done* yet!”

Or, unmolested by staff at 8am making their twice weekly sweep of hospital residents for “super bugs”… this means having a swab/queue tip in places I shudder to mention: It is hard to believe I’ve become blase about this invasion.

Perhaps unmolested by the squack box next to my head that is always pronouncing, “Nurse to room 120. Nurse to room 120!”  Perhaps my favorite announcement is — not kidding — “Dr. Ruth holding on line 5330. Dr Ruth 5330.” This loud box starts up at around 7am every morning, and is manned by a woman I call, “Says Everything Twice Loudly”. Says Everything Twice Loudly does just as her name implies. I will not miss her when I go home.  The only time she didn’t say everything twice loudly was the time I buzzed repleatedly to get some gravol as I was going to be sick. Then she became “Says it barely audibly once”.

One person I have a tempetuous relationship with is the gal whose job it is to weigh us. She drops by every morning with her giant scale. Banging the door open with her large size portable measurement device she demands you to get out of bed and clock in for her. About 50% of the time I oblige, the other half of the time I mutter something about “I didn’t have a good night” when the call bells have kept me awake long into the evening.  I think she likes to torment me by tossing on the lights. I tell you: TGH is no place for rest. It’s no place for privacy, I’ll tell you that!

The other weird thing about TGH is their breakfast menu. Everyday for the last six weeks I’ve gotten something along these lines: bland cereal, scone, coffee, milk, juice, cheese *AND PEPPER*. Every day a little pack of pepper…. to put in my coffee perhaps? Strange.

In any event, sometimes I awake to find one of several “detectives” (You might call them Doctors) at my bedside. A rotating staff, I sometimes feel as if Hercule Poirot, Sherlock Holmes, Miss Marple and Snoopy are all on the case each having their own well educated theory on what is causing what in my body.  The one I like most is that the fluid we drained off my lungs was merely overflow from the giant rations of fluid I am pushing by i.v. to hydrate my kidneys against the nasty CMV drugs.  Those drugs are having their toll: the kidneys help regulate Blood pressure, so just one month shy of my 33rd birthday, Sherlock has put me on blood pressure medications. *Sigh* I hear adema is on the way: serves me right for buying those cute red pumps last month…

So in conclusion, hopefully I can get some peace once back home and start to strengthen myself again: hopefully muscling up what I’ve lost, and fitting back into that green bikini I bought the week before admission! Finally hoping to snip off these hospital bracelets. And while the bulk of the TGH nurses are actually quite tremendous, I’m hoping for a time soon when it’s only Tom “disturbing” my sleep!

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