bravestredhead

Archive for June, 2011|Monthly archive page

Henry

In Uncategorized on June 21, 2011 at 3:38 am

Earlier this Spring.

Little  Henry left us on Wednesday afternoon in a favorite spot of his in our yard with a tummy full of tuna, by the day-lillies, & with us by his side. He had an acute worsening of his chronic arthritis and he let Tom know he was ready to to say goodbye & so we called the visiting vet.  We are very sad to say the least. But,  when I feel most sad I remind myself that Henry is no longer in discomfort, that sixteen was a grand age for a dog, and then I remind myself of all his wonderful adventures, and I feel better. But it is certainly a sad time for  us  & we find ourselves missing him all the time. Like now he should be socked out at my feet snoozing…

You know, life is about entrances and exits and the stuff that happens in between. I remember the first time I met Henry. I’d come over to Tom’s house so he could “fix my mandolin”, & I was delighted to meet the cute fluffy ball that came to the door and so I got down on my hands and knees to say hello. So cute. And oh my Lord, soooo smelly. His breath nearly knocked me out. (it got entirely sweet after his teeth were removed some years later!) I remember all the little days coming and going as he’d greet and bid farewell at the front door. I remember when Tom would come home from work and Henry would come charging down the stairs and arrive skidding at Tom’s feet awash in welcome gladness. I remember saying goodbye to him in November 2008 (the day I left for the transplant) and I remember crouching down to greet him again when I came home after the surgery: he wasn’t a face licking dog, but he licked my face then. My legs were weak so I couldn’t stand up and he just slathered me (ah! dog tongue, immuno suppression!). I remember coming home after our wedding. Henry was also not a dog who jumped up on people at the front door, but when Tom carried me over the threshold of the house, Henry couldn’t contain himself until he too was standing on his back legs, right with us, helping to welcome me over the threshold too. It’s every gig I came home from that he yawned and stretched and wagged his tail at me (and then followed me to the kitchen). It’s every time he and Tom would go out on a walk and I’d say “‘bye boys!”. It’s every time and everything in between all the comings and goings that make this sadness and hurt worth the while.

It sure is empty here now with Tom at work and me –alone– for the first time in the house. But am I alone? I have all these wonderful memories.  There’s a song on my record called “Thanks”… so to Henry I say “thanks for taking me down the road to paradise” To Henry, who’s head was so soft, who’s spirit was always so independent but loving, so funny, so cute, so strong, so constant, so deadly even (if you were a squirrel…) thank you. Thank you thank you for being a true friend to me, for forgiving me my mistakes, for sitting by my sick bed, for teaching me to enjoy each day, for teaching me what it might be like to have a real live furry son, for making me laugh, even for making me cry, I love you…..

Advertisements

5 Years

In Uncategorized on June 13, 2011 at 1:38 am

Five years ago this week I walked up the aisle to my handsome shining groom Tom, who awaited at the “alter” in my parents back yard. It was a lovely wedding.  “In sickness and in health” certainly made me well up, as transplant seemed to be looming ever nearer with each consecutive winter.  But here we are five years and several miracles later. Now we’ve been married for five years, half of that time I’ve had donor lungs.  It boggles my mind, and worries it. I hope I don’t sound greedy when I say I wish for five more, or that I fear that we won’t get there: that some unseen physical hurdle will pop up and intervene.

But you see it’s hard not to think mortal thoughts of late. Bree passing was very sobering.  And the dog (my wonderful Henry who lay by my sick bed all those years)… the dog Henry seems to be getting nearer to the finish line. My big fear is that when I get back from tour Henry will not be there to greet me at the door (we are scheduled to leave on the 22nd of June, on and off for a month). My big fear is that it will hurt like hell, though I know he’ll be peaceful.

It’s hard not to be feeling mortal as I tend to my geriatric mare… a three month layup is turning into 6-12 months more rest for Gypsy.  But dig her sweet rehab pen in this photo. In this pen she can graze, and roll  and walk a little, but she cannot get up steam to run or buck or re-injure the leg. The jury is out on stem cells even working in geriatrics, but proper slow and careful rehab is PROVEN to work.

Last night I heard an amazing band from New Orleans. I have not danced so much in years. It really had my lungs working hard. because like it or not I never got 100% lung function back after surgery (but hey, it ‘s still a vast improvement on 25%!)  Today I rode a couple horses, watched Tom charging around on horseback, walked the aging dog, and tried out a new recipe (by the way, Doc #3 told me this week I’d never smell or taste much again: but didn’t discount a miracle!). If I can stay healthy, this month I’ll be going on the TOUR OF MY LIFE from British Columbia to Newfoundland! SQUEEZING….got it? I’m SQUEEZING the good out of life. Somewhat fearfully, mostly joyfully, but I’m SQUEEZING!!!

Please visit www.alexpangman.com  for tour details, and visit www.beadonor.com on June 14th when the Canadian donor registry goes on-line at last.  Last but not least, check out the July issue of Elle Canada magazine: we’re in there spreading the word again!

Oh, and here’s the video, FINALLY, from our Hugh’s room CD launch party, if you missed it!

Life.

In Uncategorized on June 2, 2011 at 9:23 pm

should I be jealous?

I realize I won the husband lottery when I  look at this photo (taken this week) Look at how nice he is to my pony! He’s always whispering sweet nothings to horses… should I be jealous?!

I’m still debating what sort of therapy to use to help heal her tendon. Doc is reviewing ultra sound and will chime in by end of week. Bottom line: this pony deserves whatever I can to get her pasture sound. She kept me healthy my whole life.

Still dealing with the aftermath of losing Bree. It was wrong, just wrong to be buying a sympathy card for Bree. I was just talking to her on the phone, right? So, life is unpredictable, cruel even. Today I walked all over the neighborhood. I remember recently a Doc asking me, “how long can you walk for”, to which I responded (or rather,  hyperbolized) “forever”… so today I did.

Tonight I will sing my gig, and tomorrow a gig in London ON.  Later this month my dream tour of Canada ( in new dresses no less).  I baked rhubarb/strawberry pie and discovered line drying my sheets… because life is just too short. I have the luxury to enjoy. I intend to do so as best I can.

Gypsy and me with the trophy we won last June.